| Fucking party, motherfuckers. |
[26 Oct 2004|02:24pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 angry |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Laibach - Life is Life |
] |
10.26.04
On October 29, this Friday, I will be throwing my third annual huge, awesome Halloween party. There will be bands playing, most notably Skelator and (possibly) Glitch. There will be a keg filled with beer that is actually good.
It is a Fascist party. This means two things:
-Firstly, and most obviously, it is (hilariously and ironically) fascist themed. This means lots of cool looking Nazi imagery, and if you don't have a costume worked out already, I suggest a military/fascist costume.
-Secondly, and most important to remember, is that I will be running it like a fascist. This is being done tongue-in-cheek, but for real. Kind of a ha-ha-only-serious sort of thing. Donations (of whatever you can afford) are mandatory for entry. We will be checking weapons at the door. We will inspect your papers. If you have caused trouble at previous parties, you will be denied entry. I want people to have as much fun as possible, and you /will/ (upon pain of death). But experience has shown me that the best way to make sure that EVERYONE has fun is to make sure that a few troublemakers don't ruin it for everyone. As Mr. Spock or Mousselini would say, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.
BE THERE or jackbooted stormtroopers will kick down your door in the middle of the night and execute your entire family.
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| love love, kiss kiss, etc. |
[14 Oct 2004|01:12am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 lonely |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Die Form - Third Generation |
] |
10.14.04
I know I kind of covered this last time, but I think it deserves its own entry. I miss the fuck out of Tayopa. I mean, I pretty much don't stop thinking about her at all. The faintest reference to her fills me with this indescribable wistful joy that wells up and threatens to burst my chest. I want to scream, I want to cry, I want to dance, I want to break things, all at the same time. It's impossible to explain. It's the worst feeling in the world, but at the same time, it seems like every time I think of her I love her more. And that's awesome. I didn't think I was capable of this kind of intensity of emotion. I just don't want anything but to hold her in my arms and never let her go.
Tayopa is my joy, my heart, my life. In a very real way, I can't live without her. I may continue to exist, but it isn't really living. And I wouldn't /want/ to live without her. Fuck Europe. I want my sweetheart back.
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| By the way, nothing really exists. |
[11 Oct 2004|01:25am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 stressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Mentallo and the Fixer - Cerebral Statik (part 2) |
] |
10.11.04
I should be working on a paper that is due tomorrow that I've only /sort of/ started on. But instead I'm updating my livejournal. But hey, at least I'm not drunkenly hitting on chicks on myspace. Because that would be /lame/.
I really miss Tayopa (who, for those of you [yeah right, like anyone reads this] who don't know, is knee-deep in a three week tour of Europe). I didn't think it would get to me as much as it has. I really do love her, and I experience an almost palpable /pain/ when I'm not around her for any length of time. Hopefully she feels the same way, but then NOT hopefully actually, because that means she is unhappy, which only makes me all the more depressed. As if I needed any help on that front. I can't wait until she gets back. There will be lots of kisses, I can tell you that much.
I'm reading _Cryptonomicon_, which is quite good. However, the primary effect it's having on me is to make me unbelievably paranoid. I'm seriously considering not replying to any email that isn't encrypted, or at least digitally signed. I'm even starting to consider the realistic feasibility of Van Eck phreaking, and what sort of advances may have been made in that field since the book was written. But then I remember that I shouldn't worry about it because I'm not up to anything that anyone, particularly anyone with that sort of tech would be interested in. But then I remember that I actually AM. And apparently there's just fucking piles of gold just laying around all over the god damned Philippines. Why haven't Adrian or Ken mentioned this? I mean, it seems like the sort of thing you'd mention, you know?
Me: So you grew up in the Philippines?
Archetypal Filipino represented by Ken: Sure did. Born and raised.
Me: What's it like there?
Ken: Crazy. There's lots of crime, people just walk around heavily armed. There are lots of cool jungles and stuff to explore. And there's fucking gold everywhere.
Me: Oh, are there a lot of gold mines there? I thought most gold came from South America these days.
Ken: Mines, nuts! I mean gold bars. There's piles of them just laying around everywhere in the jungle.
Me: ...wha?
Ken: Yeah, I mean you can't go cutting firewood without running into like five or six 10 foot high stacks of the damn things! There's fucking caves full of gold, sunken submarines full of gold just off the coast, one time I was digging a well and I hit this secret bunker full of the shit. I was pretty pissed, cos we really needed that well. My grandmother died of malaria that week. Fucking gold.
Me: Do -- Do you ever do anything with it? The gold I mean?
Ken: Yeah, I guess. Some of the villagers use it build huts, or try to make clothes or something useful out of it. We're pretty poor there, so we try to make use of whatever we can find. They make sandals out of old tires and shit. It's crazy.
Well, I guess I should go try to work on that stupid paper about boring shit. It's stupid.
-out
postscript: One of the suggestions Livejournal's spellchecker gives for "Tayopa" is "DARPA". Cute!
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| Nazis and shit |
[03 Oct 2004|03:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 exhausted |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Aphex Twin - Eggytoast |
] |
10.03.04
Purchased a handgun today.
Walther P38 (P-1 postwar east german police issue) in 9mm. Came with two magazines and an original flap hoster.
Because I am under 21, my mother purchased it for me and will transfer ownership to me at a later date, but I still get to shoot babies with it. I take possession in 10 days. Stupid waiting period. I want to shoot people NOW, while I'm still angry! Oh well.
-out
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| Nothing's gonna change my world |
[03 Oct 2004|01:25am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 shocked |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Laibach - Let it Be |
] |
10.03.04
Have a 6 foot boa constrictor blah blah pet shop stopped prekilling rats blah blah had to kill a rat.
Now, I've performed this procedure before with mice. It's a fairly simple matter, hold the mouse by the tail, strike neck against sharp edge, break neck, feed to snake. Because I'm the only person in the house with any balls, and I had experience, I was elected to do the honors. So I put on gloves (because this rat was rumored to be fairly bitey), and took the thing outside.
I smacked the thing on the edge of the doorstep, and it stopped moving. Everything went according to plan. At first.
Then it started moving again. I hit it again. It continued moving. I hit it again. It kept moving. I hit it again. Blood began pouring out of its face. Still it moved. At this point, to get any decent force behind my swing would involve spraying rat blood everywhere. So I continued beating the poor thing's head against the ground, but rather softly, which served nothing but to extend my gruesome task. Finally, after slowly and methodically beating the life out of a living thing, I offered it to the snake. AND THE DAMNED THING WOULDN'T EAT IT. After all that fucking work and gore, it's still just lying there in the aquarium.
Harrowing.
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| Hot Snakes show: "fun" |
[02 Oct 2004|12:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 jubilant |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Hocico - Twisted Lines |
] |
10.02.04
Brenna: Alright Pouder, I'll see you later.
Pouder: See ya.
Alexander: Hey Brenna, before you go, hang on a sec.
Brenna: Yeah?
Alexander: I've been thinking, and I realize I've come off as kind of an asshole, and I really feel bad about it. What say to make it up to you I buy you dinner sometime?
Brenna: (eyes lighting up, childlike joy illuminating her countenance) Really? When?
Alexander: I'm just kidding, I still hate you. (walks away laughing)
Pouder: He really does!
Brenna: That was mean!
I win at mean.
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| Holy sweet Hitler Christ! What the faggotron? |
[01 Oct 2004|04:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 guilty |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Pop WIll Eat Itself: Def.Con.One |
] |
10.01.04
Okay, this is an interesting situation, so I'm going to go ahead and just start at the beginning.
I arrive at City college a few weeks ago, and there's some sort of nonsense going on in the quad. I wander over, curious, and run into Janet Clarke, a friend of mine from high school. She's a lesbian, and is very active in the LGBT community. I ask her what all this commotion is, and she explains that it is club rush. Feigning interest, I ask if there is an LGBT club, knowing that this is the sort of thing she is interested in.
"No," she replies smiling up at me, "but we're looking for someone to start one!"
Long story short, I'm the Vice President/Founder of the current incarnation of the City College LGBTSU.
Now before you start congratulating me and commending me for my admirable efforts to promote tolerance and equality on our campus and in our community, let me say something: I don't CARE about any of it.
Don't get me wrong here, I'm all for equal rights, and I absolutely support the LGBT cause. I would, for the most part, vote for a candidate who was for gay rights and against one who is against them. Indeed, it is an issue close to my own heart. My mother is family, as are many of my good friends. But it does not constitute the mass of my thoughts, political or otherwise. When I go to protests, I'm waving signs about the war in Iraq or capitalism or globalism or any number of things, NONE of which are the plight of my more penis-inclined brethren. When I'm flyering or stenciling or assassinating prominent political figures, once again, my motives have nothing whatsoever to do with hot lesbo action.
The concept of my holding a position of much power in an organization I don't care at all about dedicated to a cause I care about only very little is hilarious. There's no denying it. It's fucking uproarious, especially if you know me. And that's the problem I'm running into. This is a serious organization dedicated to a serious issue, but I'm treating it like some hilarious farce for my amusemnt; a way of killing time between classes and work. It makes me feel like kind of a jerk. Another thing I've been doing as a result is making exponentially more offensive jokes, and just all around talking shit on t3h h0m0s, because what's funnier than the founder and co-chair of the GLBT club saying things like "Fuck that faggot ass! I'm not gonna let that homo fudgepacking colon cowboy queer this deal!" and soforth.
I feel like a jerk, but to give up any sort of power goes contrary to everything I believe in. I don't know what to do!
Also, I hate the jews.
|
|
| An update! What a joyous occasion! |
[07 Sep 2004|02:09am] |
09.07.04
I don't suppose I've mentioned it, but I'm a juggler. Not to toot my own horn, but a damn fine juggler. Like, at-the-level-where-I-could-make-good-money-at-it-were-I-so-inclined good. It's a big part of who I am. The guy who taught me to juggle, Sean McKinney, meant a lot to me. He was more of a father to me than my dad ever was. He was also pretty much agreed-upon as being the best juggler in the United States. Though I haven't seen him in a couple years, he still held quite the place in my heart.
I just found out he's dead.
Not only is he dead, but he committed suicide. He apparently thought that his life was so bad, and that he had so few people who cared about him, that life wasn't even worth living anymore. I dont know why, but I take that almost kind of personally. Not like I'm mad at him for doing it, it just makes me feel that much worse to know that he was that miserable, and that I couldn't/didn't do anything about it.
Now don't get me wrong, I am very much pro-choice when it comes to suicide. I know better than anyone that it is a perfectly reasonable conclusion to come to that life isn't worth living. The world fucking blows, and if you don't have a good support network to keep you afloat (or aren't just so stupid you don't realize how much the world sucks), it is quite possible to find yourself in a position where life really ISN'T worth living. But it just kind of hurts because I feel like, even though I haven't seen him in a while, I could have been there for him, to try to make things a little better for him. And the last I saw him, things were going well. I can't imagine what could have happened. Whatever.
I'm going to drink more.
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| bilgepump |
[12 Jun 2004|09:00am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Throbbing in my head |
] |
06.12.04
Jake, my sister's fiancee who is also a marine, had some of his friends over for drinky fun last night. I joined in, because hey, drinking. It's fun. It turned out to be not one of the better ideas ever. First of all, this one marine decided that it would be a fun idea to fight me. Not "I did something to offend him, and he got pissed at me", no. Just "he decided it would be fun to fight me". Because yeah, I mean, a fight between some skinny gothic fag and a /trained killing machine/ would be real interesting, I'm sure. I begged my way out of it, and he forgot about it eventually, but yeah. So then one of the marines passed out too early so we went ahead and shaved off one of his eyebrows. Or well, I should say, /I/ shaved off one of his eyebrows, because the rest of the marines were too pussy to do it themselves.
Okay, side note here: My mom's bitchwhore ex-girlfriend lives in the other house on the lot I live on. To help with the rent, she has taken on boarders. Specifically, these three lesbians from like New York or something who are here for the summer and are approximately my age. I had previously sent word that they should hang out sometime, being as one of them has a mohawk, implying that they are at least somewhat cool. Well they picked last night to take me up on the offer. Cos there's a great first impression to make. Hi, it's good to meet you. My name's Alexander, I'm into music, political activism, and urban exploration. I'm also DRUNK, and HANGING OUT WITH MARINES. Really drunk. Like, I puked. I guess I wasn't /that/ offputting, however, because I suddenly realize that the one sitting next to me is playing hella footsie with me. Did I say they were lesbians? Apparently at least this one isn't. Being too inebriated to be capable of explaining the intricacies of my current committed relationship, I simply extricate myself from the situation and try not to get too close to that girl (whose name I don't even KNOW) again.
The night ended a bit early. Because of me. Specifically, because I threatened to shoot the marines in their collective face. Apparently I was fairly convincing, because they mostly took off, as did the girls. Basically, I got sick of hearing the word "faggot" used as a derogatory term, and I flipped out and started screaming at people. I know, it's weird, I say it myself, but for some reason all of a sudden I just flipped the fuck out. Blah. I feel like a jerk, KINDA. On the other hand, I totally don't, becuase I guess I was technically in the right. But whatever.
Anyway, right now it's NINE in the fucking MORNING, I have a splitting headache, a terrible hangover, and I CAN'T SLEEP. What the fuck? How can I not sleep? I should be out like a fucking light. It should be impossible to awaken me. But no. I can't fucking sleep. It's gay.
|
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| Beatboys. |
[23 May 2004|07:42pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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Better than you |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Haujobb - World Window |
] |
05.23.04
On friday ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) trixiegnosis pouder, and I went to LA to hang out with angel_electric.
First we went to Das Bunker, where we ran into stella_maris. Additionally, we danced to quite excellent music by such popular artists as Laibach, Skinny Puppy, and *INSERT ARTIST WHO LAYS THE PHAT POWERNOIZE BEATS*. After I won at dancing (I am the best at dancing), we went to get delicious thai food. Delicious delicious thai food. The soup tasted like a dumpster, but the rest was delicious. As I previously stated.
The next day, we went to the shooting of the new Skinny Puppy video, for which angel_electric did the costuming. It was hot (as in the sun), and no I will not tell you what the video is about.
Then last night, misspucca made me powermod (read admin) of the board we're on. I am powermad.
I hate you.
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| Passphrase |
[09 May 2004|09:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 mischievous |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Beatles - Helter Skelter |
] |
05.09.04
Now you can email me incriminating information without fear. Together we can defeat carnivore! Cryptoanarchists unite! Tnbi uif tubuf!
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| The Grateful Dead blows |
[11 Apr 2004|07:57pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Smash Up The Pram - Cylob |
] |
04.11.04
One problem with that is... wait, never mind, viruses can't go back in time, right? - "Scary" Rick Lenahan, 2004
|
|
| Do you have stairs in your house? |
[08 Apr 2004|04:35am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 frustrated |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
KMFDM - Light |
] |
04.08.04
I'm going deaf in my right ear. It feels kind of clogged, like it had water in it or needed to be popped. Also, obviously, I can barely hear out of it. I figure I either have some sort of magical infection that doesn't hurt, or some impacted wax or some shit. I've tried Qtipping it, and there's always a lot of shit in there, but I'm scared to go too crazy on it for fear of impacting it more. I'm thinking ear candles or some kind of drops that dissolve earwax, if such a thing exists. I sure do wish I could go to the doctor, but unfortunately I can't afford it. Go capitalism! If there's one thing the last few months have taught me, it's that commodification of health care is a Good Thing!
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| Blah blah blah stupid stupid |
[31 Mar 2004|01:35am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 annoyed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Throbbing Gristle - United |
] |
03.31.04
I have my livejournal in my favorites as one of the websites I visit every day, presumably so that I update it regularly. However, I never have time to update it, so I end up checking my own livehournal every day as though something new was going to happen without my input.
Also, I hate social obligations. If I want to do something for you, I'll do it. I don't need fucking social pressures telling me when and what to do something nice for people. Fucking generalized reciprocity, assholes. Fuck your fascist state-level social organization.
|
|
| This one goes out to the one I love |
[24 Mar 2004|06:41am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Faint - Take Me to the Hospital |
] |
03.24.04 supplemental
hold my hand its shakin' bad
i'm going to the doc
i pay him he'll fix me up
i think ive got enough
ambulance no costs to much
we'll take a van
if they can't fix me no one can
if they can't fix it no one can
want you to take me to the H,
take me to the O,
want you to take me to the S,
take me to the P,
want you to take me to the I- T- A- L.
want you to take me to hospital
HOSPITAL
now im losing blood from my veins
they're slowly emptying
I'm bothered by this crimson red
to the color of blood
to the color of a B
the color of a L
to the color of a O
the color of O
to the color of a Deep
crimson red
from a little bitty accident
ACCIDENT...
Hits a little close to home
On a related note, I was being a bit alarmist regarding english. I'm sure I'll do fine.
|
|
| Welcome to your new home |
[24 Mar 2004|12:47am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
stressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Nurse With Wound - something unlabeled |
] |
03.24.04
Click
1. Yep.
2. Patriot Act
3. Terrorists
4. Yep.
5. Seen the news lately?
6. Corporate media, but yeah.
7. Department of Homeland Security
8. God is on our side. He says it a lot.
9. Campaign funding. His family wealth
10.Yeah... Working on it
11.You probably haven't heard about it, but you probably don't care.
12.Patriot Act. Read it.
13.Everyone he's appointed
14.Florida
On a related note, I'm probably going to flunk English.
|
|
| Injustice |
[13 Mar 2004|06:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 amused |
] |
03.13.04
I've been made a moderator of a message board that I never read and have never posted to. I find this wildly humorous. I'm sure all the board regulars will hate me. I find this wildly humorous, as well. www.maddoxmania.com forums. Check it out. I'm modding the "maddox" board.
|
|
| Tonight We're Gonna Party and we'll PARTY HARD! |
[10 Mar 2004|02:19pm] |
Ok, final information about the party thing. Glitch will *not* be playing, this was the result of a miscommunication. Jesse And Michael will be there however, so come get your autographs before they get huge. It will be held at Rachelle's house, but because a lot of people don't know where she lives, everyone will meet up at my house and carpool over there. This means if you're not here on time, you're NOT COMING. This is actually just as well, being as her apt is fairly small and prolly can't fit too terribly many people.
STILL MY HOUSE 4:00 FRIDAY
BE THERE OR BE SQUARE FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO DO!
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|
|
[09 Mar 2004|06:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
annoyed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Skinny Puppy - Nature's Revenge |
] |
03.09.04 supplemental
-EDIT-
New news (I'm always the last to know) The party CAN NOT happen on friday. I am working hard to keep it happening, possibly on Saturday. I have now heard rumors of Glitch playing, but these are still unconfirmed. Email me (spacecowboyATintergate.com) for info, or call if you have my number.-/EDIT-
I've been informed that there will be a going away party for Rachelle at my house on friday. I'm not vetoing it, but I am a bit peeved that I was the last person to know that there was a party at *my* house, and more than a bit peeved that it's an (I assume) drinking party for someone previously forbidden to drink here due to her long history of puking, not cleaning up after herself, and otherwise generally fucking the place up. I want to see everyone and all, and I love Rachelle to death, and I've actually been wanting to throw a party for a while, but this is not the party or the time; nor an I very happy about not being the planner of a party at my house. Oh well, it's happening, so EVERYONE COME. MY HOUSE. 4:00 FRIDAY!!! PARTY WOOOO!!!!
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